A Baby Story

At the end of 2013 I was telling everyone how content I was only having two children and that I didn't really want anymore. Then I kept getting promptings that we were supposed to have another baby so I had my IUD taken out. In February I had a really early miscarriage (a chemical pregnancy) but I didn't even know that's what it was until my next period didn't come for 42 days. That was the only thing that happened all year. I went through different stages emotionally last year. At first I thought that getting pregnant was what Heavenly Father wanted and I was trying because that's what I was supposed to do. Then I actually was excited at the idea of a new baby but nothing happened. Then I started feeling really frustrated and annoyed at the whole thing and by the end of the year I felt what I had felt before; that I didn't really want another baby.

A few weeks ago my friend, Annie, told me that maybe I need to give Heavenly Father an ultimatum. I thought the idea was a little crazy but I decided to do it. I told Him that if I wasn't pregnant by April I was going to have an IUD put back in. I'm not pregnant at the moment (at least not that I know of) but I had a dream last night that I was in the grocery store parking lot and a lady followed me to my car and told me she was a social worker. She had a baby with her and she wanted our family to take care of it for a while. I agreed and we all fell in love with that sweet, little baby. At the beginning of the dream I'm pretty sure that baby was a girl but at the end I know it was a boy. I remember thinking the whole time that I really hoped I didn't have to give the baby up because I had grown so attached to it.

I don't know if I had this dream to make me realize that I really would like another baby or if it was just some random dream but it has helped me to be a little more happy and excited at the idea of another baby. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens but now I know I will be happy either way.