New Year's

It's New Year's Eve and I'm sitting here thinking how I could be such a better mother. I lose my patience with my children much too easily and I yell way too often. I hate myself for it but I don't know how to fix it. I love my kids so much and it makes me so upset with myself when I act this way. Lucky for me, they still love me just as much as ever and want to hug and love me even when I just got done yelling at them. I feel like I don't deserve it.

This is the time of year to make resolutions and one of mine is to be more patient. I want to learn to not yell at my kids and not lose my temper. My kids forgive me now but eventually they will get to an age where they are not as forgiving. I am going to try to make a conscious effort to be as patient as possible. I have said this many times before and so far I have been unsuccessful but I won't stop trying. My kids deserve a better mother than the one I have been up to this point and I am going to do my best to be that better mother.

Sometimes I wonder what Heavenly Father was thinking when he sent two of his sweet spirit children to me. I don't deserve them but I love them more than anyone else possibly could. They are such a blessing and a gift to me and I need to remember that when they are driving me crazy. I don't know why Heavenly Father saw fit to send them to me but I am thankful for them everyday and I am going to try to give my very best to them so that they will always know how much their mother loves them.

Here's to a New Year!

"Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one."

~ Brad Paisley

Puffy Paint

I found this recipe to make puffy paint with flour, water, baking powder, and salt. I mixed it together, added food coloring, and voila...the kids had paint. Once they were finished with their pictures, I put them in the microwave and they came out all puffy. It was pretty cool and the kids loved it!

Here are some of Atreyu's paintings...

and Cambria's...

and these are my favorites...

Star Wars

We went up to Blackfoot a couple weeks ago to spend the weekend with our friends there. One night the guys saw the new Star Wars movie and the next day the ladies went. As we were leaving the theater we saw some people dressed up as Star Wars characters and I insisted that we get a picture. It was a fun night!

Atreyu has been excited to see it so a couple nights ago Jesse and I took him to see it. He loved it and now he wants a Star Wars birthday party. I love seeing his excitement!

Christmas!

We had a really laid back and easy-going Christmas this year. The kids woke up at about 6:35, which I expected, and Grandma and Grandpa came over at the same time. The kids were so excited to see what Santa had brought them. Cambria loves her toy kitchen and plays with it every day. Atreyu likes the Lego table but he was most excited about the super hero figures that were in his stocking.

We had Jesse's favorite, pigs-in-a-blanket, for breakfast along with some monkey bread and a couple other pastries. Jesse had to go to work for four hours and then we met him to visit Warren at the manor. We then came home, at a yummy dinner, played games, and watched a movie. It was a wonderful Christmas and I'm thankful I could be with my sweet little family.

More Christmas Shenanigans

Atreyu wanted to go to the karate Christmas party. They played a few games and then they were put on teams to wrap up one of the team members. Atreyu's team won "Fanciest Present." You can't tell from the look on his face but he actually had a lot of fun!

Cambria has lost interest in karate and I am hoping I won't have to finish the contract because of her age. She keeps saying she wants to do dance.

One day my kids decided that they wanted to make a gingerbread house. I didn't have time to make any before bed so they decided it would be fun to make one out of graham crackers. We didn't have much candy to decorate with but they liked how it turned out and they really enjoyed eating it the next day.

For the past few years, there has been a live nativity in Montpelier with real camels and donkeys. I took the kids and Cindie to see it this year but the it was late getting started and Cambria was freezing so we left early but we were able to get a picture with one of the camels first. Atreyu was upset that we had to leave early. Maybe next year we'll be able to stay for the whole thing.

The kids were able to see Santa and Mrs. Claus again at the library. I love how excited Cindie gets when she sees Santa. She is just like a little girl and it is so sweet!

That same night was our ward Christmas party. We had a yummy dinner and then the kids acted out the nativity and sang some beautiful songs. I love being in the primary and having the opportunity to hear those sweet kids sing every week.

I've made it a tradition with my kids to make sugar cookies at Christmas time every year. They helped me cut out shapes and decorate almost every cookie. They usually lose interest quickly but not this year. It was fun and we have been enjoying the delicious cookies!

I love that during the whole month of December there is plenty of Christmas related things to do. I love the whole season and I'm always a little sad when it's over.

My Greatest Gift

I have been back and forth for a long time on whether or not to have another baby. Once I finally got pregnant earlier this year I was so excited and I knew that I would be done after that baby was born but then I had a miscarriage and I have been wondering ever since what we should do. I have prayed about it and hoped every month that I would be pregnant and it just hasn't happened. I've talked with Jesse and he feels the same as I do; it would be great to have another baby but it's also great just having two. I was hoping that he would just decide one way or the other and that would make my decision so much easier.

We have been talking about our future plans recently and if it all works out the way we are hoping, it would be really difficult to have another baby. I have felt a real calm about it and I have decided to have my IUD put back in. It doesn't mean that there isn't another baby in our future but right now I am at peace about just having two and I think it's best for us. Once I have the IUD in I won't have to wonder ever month if I'm pregnant and it's just one stress I will be able to eliminate from my life.

Thinking about not having anymore kids and about how difficult it has been for me to get pregnant, I realize just how lucky and blessed I am to have the two kids I do have. I know I was meant to have them. I know that they were sent to me by my Heavenly Father who loves them even more than I can comprehend. I am not very patient and I really have a difficult time with a lot of kids and I know my Heavenly Father knows that. He wants me to be the best mom I can be to the kids I already have and maybe not having anymore kids is how I can do that. I have so much work to do to become a better mother and I am thankful my kids teach me everyday and that no matter how many times I get upset with them, they still hug and kiss me and tell me how much they love me. Being a mother is truly the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I thank my Heavenly Father for it everyday.

Kitties and Karate

Cambria LOVES her kitties! She especially loves Bagheera Oliver. She wants to bring him in the house and snuggle with him everyday. Since having these cats I realized that my allergies are not near as bad as they used to be and I actually really like cats more than I expected to. Atreyu enjoys them as well but not as much as Cambria. He likes snuggling with Zuma.

Atreyu and Cambria are both in a mixed martial arts class. We call it karate but that's not what it actually is. They both like it but Cambria has been saying that she wants to do dance instead and Atreyu has talked about maybe doing a different sport but he just got his yellow belt and was really excited about it so he might stay in it. It was fun watching him test and I love that Jesse came with us. Grandma Bernie showed up as well and Atreyu loved to have us all there. I figured that Cambria didn't really need to test so she stayed home and had a blast with Grandpa.

Atreyu's Selfies

Atreyu got a hold of my phone the other night and he thought it was so fun that he could take pictures of himself. I was lucky enough to get into a couple shots. I love my boy!

Christmas Shenanigans

I love this time of year! The chill in the air, the snow, the lights, and mostly the opportunity to remember and celebrate the birth of our Savior. This is truly the best time of the whole year and I admit that sometimes I get caught up in all the hustle and bustle of the season but when I actually take the time to sit down and think of my Savior and his sacred birth, I am filled with the spirit. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Reedemer and I am so thankful for him.

Every year at Christmas and Easter I like to get my kids new church outfits. This year we had a hand-me-down dress for Cambria that she loves. She says it's her "Santa dress". These two can truly melt my heart and I am so thankful that I have been blessed with them.

Santa and Mrs. Claus were at King's yesterday and Atreyu and Cambria were both so excited to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas. I always loved Christmas when I was a child and the magic of the whole season but I almost love being a mom and watching my children at this time of year even more. I know the excitement they feel and it's so fun for me to live it again through them.

Sleddin'

I love living in a place where we get to experience all the different seasons! My kids have loved having some snow. They decided to go sledding on the hill behind Grandma and Grandpa's house last week and Cambria convinced me to go out with them. Besides the fact that I am terribly out of shape and it killed me to climb the hill over and over, it was so much fun! I always forget how much I enjoy sledding until I actually get out and do it. Izzy came to play with us and we had such a wonderful time! It was a beautiful day in beautiful Bear Lake.