I have been back and forth for a long time on whether or not to have another baby. Once I finally got pregnant earlier this year I was so excited and I knew that I would be done after that baby was born but then I had a miscarriage and I have been wondering ever since what we should do. I have prayed about it and hoped every month that I would be pregnant and it just hasn't happened. I've talked with Jesse and he feels the same as I do; it would be great to have another baby but it's also great just having two. I was hoping that he would just decide one way or the other and that would make my decision so much easier.
We have been talking about our future plans recently and if it all works out the way we are hoping, it would be really difficult to have another baby. I have felt a real calm about it and I have decided to have my IUD put back in. It doesn't mean that there isn't another baby in our future but right now I am at peace about just having two and I think it's best for us. Once I have the IUD in I won't have to wonder ever month if I'm pregnant and it's just one stress I will be able to eliminate from my life.
Thinking about not having anymore kids and about how difficult it has been for me to get pregnant, I realize just how lucky and blessed I am to have the two kids I do have. I know I was meant to have them. I know that they were sent to me by my Heavenly Father who loves them even more than I can comprehend. I am not very patient and I really have a difficult time with a lot of kids and I know my Heavenly Father knows that. He wants me to be the best mom I can be to the kids I already have and maybe not having anymore kids is how I can do that. I have so much work to do to become a better mother and I am thankful my kids teach me everyday and that no matter how many times I get upset with them, they still hug and kiss me and tell me how much they love me. Being a mother is truly the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I thank my Heavenly Father for it everyday.
No comments:
Post a Comment